Birthdays that never were

Today could have been a birthday. A 4th birthday to be exact.

A day of cakes, candles and flimsy paw patrol plates. A toothy grin, blue icing smeared chin and oh so very much love.

But today was just a regular, boring, wonderful day. Today we went grocery shopping with your sisters. There have been two since we lost you. Two gummy grins that have helped heal the tear in our hearts of what might have been. Two sweet babies held in our arms while you are held only in our hearts.

Today is a could’ve day. A day to ponder the ramshackle roads life didn’t take us down. But today is also a day to love and cherish the life we have. The three beautiful girls we hold in our arms and the two sweet souls we hold in our heart.

Sweet child, you never had a day. You never even had your picture taken, we lost you too soon. The memory of the day we lost you is fading – the searing pain is dulled and dusty. But today will always be my day to think of what you might have been.

Today could have been a birthday but today is just a today.

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